Lauren Silverman has revealed she felt ’embarrassed and ashamed’ by her affair with partner Simon Cowell after struggling to endure the fierce public backlash.The mother-of-two fell pregnant with her son Eric, 12, with the Britain’s Got Talent judge while she was still married to her ex-husband Andrew in 2013.Lauren has now shared that she carried heavy shame from the way that her relationship with Simon began, and she felt ‘defined’ by the reaction.After learning that Lauren was pregnant with Simon’s child, Andrew filed for divorce, citing adultery as the cause for separation. However, following years of therapy and a lifestyle overhaul, she refuses to let the fall-out of the scandal define her.Lauren and Simon’s relationship has defied the odds, and she also shared that they hope to marry sometime in the future. Lauren Silverman has revealed she felt ’embarrassed and ashamed’ by her affair with Simon Cowell (pictured while pregnant with Eric in 2014)The campaigner, who now goes by the name Lauren Cowell, told The Sun’s Fabulous Magazine: ‘I felt ashamed and embarrassed, like I had a scarlet letter on my chest.’For a long time I struggled a lot with it. I get why people had that opinion of me. I would feel exactly the same way if I was looking in as an outsider.”I’m not trying to evade accountability or say that what I did was correct, but I’m human, and it happened. What am I supposed to do for the rest of my life? F**king beat myself up over it? I don’t think that’s fair.”I feel a lot of compassion for that girl.’It makes me want to hug my former self. I beat myself up so much and allowed what other people were saying about me to define me.’Lauren previously shared she’s ‘really proud’ how she rebuilt her relationship with her ex Andrew, after they spent the ‘parents weekend’ together at their son Adam’s college last month.Adam is in his third year studying at the University of Miami, with Lauren regularly travelling from the London home she shares with Simon, 66, and Eric to visit her eldest son. Sharing photos of her latest trip, Lauren, whose parents and sister live in Miami, said: ‘Parents Weekend was basically all of my favourite things rolled into one — family dinners, football, beach walks, dolphin sightings, lots of laughter… and yes, a fraternity party.’ The mother-of-two fell pregnant with her son Eric, 12, with the Britain’s Got Talent judge while she was still married to her ex-husband Andrew in 2013 After learning that Lauren was pregnant with Simon’s child, her ex-husband Andrew (pictured) filed for divorce, citing adultery as the cause for separation’Definitely not my natural habitat although I always love watching some of the parents fully relive their university days.”One of the things I felt especially grateful for was being together with Adam’s dad, his wife and their children. Families evolve in all sorts of ways, and I’m really proud of the relationship we’ve all built and how far we’ve come.’Lauren added that ‘most of all, I’m so proud of Adam. He’s happy, thriving and becoming such a great young man.’Referencing her campaign for stronger protections for children online and a call for age-based restrictions on social media for under-16s, Lauren said she was especially proud that her eldest son has ‘bought himself a Brick for his phone’.’He can block distracting apps during the day and focus on studying — which obviously made this online-safety mum very happy.’ She ended her post by writing: ‘Miami will always feel like home to me, and I’m so happy Adam chose it for these university years. A very full heart after a very special weekend.’Lauren and Simon’s affair was rumoured to have started when he was on holiday with her and her husband in Barbados. In 2013, Simon said of the affair: ‘I let down a friend and I feel bad about that. But the good thing is I’m having a baby and never thought I would.’A year later, Andrew branded the ordeal of losing his wife to Simon ‘a very difficult time in my life’, but added that he ‘learned a lot’.Speaking to the New York Observer, the real-estate entrepreneur said: ‘I am a regular person, not a tabloid thing. It was a fascinating experience, unexpected and shocking.’Being in the public spotlight is not something I envy. It’s never been my way. I learned a lot about myself… the importance of family. My focus has been on my son throughout the whole ordeal.’