Television presenter and vocal coach Carrie Grant has said she has been ‘changed forever’ by the trauma of being on suicide watch for her autistic child.Talking on Holly Willoughby’s YouTube show, Together, on Monday, Carrie spoke about Tylan, 24, who is non-binary and also has Asperger’s and dyscalculia – a learning disability which affects people using number related concepts.Carrie, 61, said Tylan was on suicide watch between the ages of 13 and 16 after struggling at school and she said: ‘I don’t think I will ever be the same person I was before that.’Life changed for the better when Tylan got the role of Phoenix Hathaway on Hollyoaks, from 2018 to 2024. The character was also non-binary with autism. Carrie, who is married to fellow Fame Academy star David Grant, 70, said: ‘When you live in that hypervigilant space, many of us parents, autism families, the parents have complex PTSD because of these situations.’Now it’s a joy to see that child thriving. But those three years… three years is a long time to be living in fear.’ Carrie Grant says she’s been ‘changed forever’ by the trauma of being on suicide watch for her autistic child Tylan Tylan, 24, is non-binary and has Asperger’s and dyscalculia, a learning disability which affects people using number related concepts – they struggled at school but life changed for the better when they got the role of Phoenix Hathaway on Hollyoaks, playing the role from 2018 to 2024Holly asked Carrie how she navigated her way through the mental health consequences of her child not being understood. She said: ‘I think you are navigating on the hoof. I don’t think anyone can prepare you for it. You don’t know, but when you are in it, you do what you have to do.’For us, we were bringing up this beautiful child and things just got progressively worse until they got to secondary school and no one was listening.’We were trying to get the EHCP [An Education, Health and Care Plan]. In fact, I had an email that I’ve got on my computer at home that I was sent in error from the head.’I won’t say what school it is, but the head said to the SENCO [the special educational needs coordinator]…’Dear SENCO, you do not have to answer any of Mrs. Grant’s emails. I suggest we stand well back and watch the fireworks go off.’Carrie said: ‘To begin with, I [said to Tylan], you are going to school, you get yourself in that car and then I realised this was not going to work and so my child was massively self-harming and ended up in hospital, not wanting to live. ‘As a parent I think you’re changed. I don’t think I will ever be the same person that I was before that experience. ‘I think I am changed forever. Some of that’s for the better. Some of it’s probably not, but I think every day becomes this gruelling desire to see your child alive. And I can’t even describe that really. It’s just opening their bedroom door.’The first place you look is the ceiling to check. My god, the second place you look is their duvet. Is it going up and down? Carrie, 61, said Tylan was on suicide watch between the ages of 13 and 16 after struggling at school and she said: ‘I don’t think I will ever be the same person I was before that’ Carrie and David Grant’s four children all have various neurodivergent diagnoses ‘It’s going up and down. It’s going up and down. Yes. Yes. Yes. We got them through a night. We got them through a night. We got them through a night.’Carrie and David Grant’s four children all have various neurodivergent diagnoses.She said: ‘Some children don’t make it through. No. And I think that’s when you get very angry with services. When services haven’t shown up, especially when you’ve asked for help. When you begged. Especially when you’ve asked for help.’Carrie also spoke about Tylan’s role on Hollyoaks and said they were very supportive of him, and that he flourished as an actor. She said: ‘They were met with an entire casting crew who’d all been autism trained, which means a lighting rigger on Hollyoaks has had more autism training than any teacher that’s ever taught any of my children.’Carrie’s child Olive Gray, 31, suffers from ADHD and dyspraxia, and her other child Arlo, 20, is also autistic and has ADHD. Carrie and David’s youngest son Nathan – adopted from the age of two – has ADHD and attachment issues.Arlo, then aged 11, was the first to say they ‘wanted to be a boy’. They would later decide they were non-binary.Olive, who is now an actor, wrote the words ‘I am non-binary’ on a piece of paper and showed her. Tylan was the last to reject their birth gender. In 2020 his Hollyoaks part was amended to make the character non-binary, too. For confidential support, call Samaritans on 116 123, visit samaritans.org or visit https://www.thecalmzone.net/get-support