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Megan Barton-Hanson has said backlash to her stripping past and OnlyFans career left her feeling ‘unworthy’ of ever getting married or having a family.
The former Love Island star, 31, who claimed she earns £800K-a-month from the platform, recalled going along with the negative ‘narrative’ of how others saw her.
Speaking on Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast she said: ‘Because I had that past in sex work, because I had been that party girl, it’s like: “Oh my god, imagine if that was your wife. No one’s ever gonna wanna marry you, you’re gonna be such a terrible mum”‘
Megan explained that she steeled herself against the criticism by claiming to never want to ever settle down: ‘I’d be like: “no” and do that whole defensive thing’.
However now age has helped her admit to herself that she didn’t really feel that way and that she would actually like to find love and have children.
‘I do want to settle down and have a husband one day, but for ages like: ‘If you think I am not worthy of being a mum,”‘.
‘Because of my past of my past I’m going to go with that narrative: “I don’t want it anyway, I’m going to party hang out with my gay friends until i’m sixty f**k you, but that’s not actually how I feel in my heart’.
Megan, who previously claimed that plastic surgery turned her into the Alan Sugar of stripping and once dreamed of being a glamour model, recognised: “For ages I would go to interviews and they’re like, ‘do you want kids one day? Do you wanna get married?’.
It comes after Megan revealed she had been left feeling ‘distressed’ and ‘unsafe’ after she was followed by two men in a car .
The TV personality took to her Instagram Stories to warn her fans to be vigilant as she explained the scary experience.
Above a picture of a similar looking car, she wrote: ‘Safety alert Benfleet/Hadleigh/Rayleigh – women and dog walkers stay alert.
‘I was followed by a black Mercedes Estate by two men inside. They stopped next to me multiple times. Looped the area then returned again trying to wave me over.
‘I felt unsafe and distressed thoughts of either me or my dog being taken. Part reg possibly ending J10 (Not 100%). Car looked similar to the one shown (from memory).’
She concluded: ‘Please trust your instincts and look out for each other.’
Megan has previously confessed she was bullied for her nose and sticky-out-ears in school which prompted her to change her appearance.
After ‘barely being able to afford a train ticket to work’ in London from Essex, Megan opened up to dating expert Paul Carrick Brunson for his We Need To Talk podcast.
Paul, 50, asked: ‘You’ve had your ears pinned back, first procedure, then you have your breasts done. What drove you to get your breasts done at that age?’
Megan admitted: ‘I’ll be brutally honest – money.
‘I had no issues, I was quite body confident with my natural boobs but there was this girl and she was on social media making a lot of money basically doing Page 3, but she was her own boss.
‘I remember saying to my first boyfriend, ‘babe, she’s making so much money, don’t you think I’m prettier, I could definitely do that if I had bigger t**s’.
‘I wanted my nose done, that was another thing from school kids would pick on.’
Megan continued: ‘I hate being put to sleep so I’ll get my t**s done, the nose done, all in one and I can make so much money, either on social media, or back then, Page 3 was still a thing.
‘I wanted to be a glamour model, a Page 3 girl. I was working in London and it was minimum wage, barely affording my train ticket to commute from Essex to London. I was like, this can’t be what life is, surely.’