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The global MAFS family were dealt a devastating blow on Tuesday following the tragic death of Mel Schilling.
Mel, best known for her work as a relationship expert on the UK and Australian versions of Married At First Sight, was a favourite among viewers and contestants alike – known for her warm yet no-nonsense approach to matchmaking.
So tributes poured out from around the world when her beloved husband Gareth announced she had succumbed to her battle with colon cancer at the age of 54.
It was clear that Mel had touched the hearts of many people, which is hardly surprising given she dedicated her life to helping others.
After obtaining a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Psychology as well as a Graduate Diploma in Psychology, Mel began her career by working in child protective services.
While rewarding, the work proved to be mentally draining, with Mel recalling in 2020: ‘It was really really confronting, frontline work… I was in my early 20s, knocking on people’s doors to take their children away, with a couple of burly coppers behind me.
‘I was not prepared, and I burned out really quickly.’
Mel, who had a net worth of £1million at the time of her death, also briefly dabbled in the arts, landing small acting roles in Neighbours and procedural cop show, Blue Heelers which ran from 1993 to 2006.
However, she realised that her love of performing was only meant to be a hobby, abandoning her dreams of the stage ‘due to a lack of talent and too much common sense.’
Instead, Mel dedicated her life to helping others, working as a practising psychologist for two decades before being chosen for MAFS.
Such was her talent that she quickly became an established figure on the UK dating show scene – despite only becoming known to British audiences five years ago.
The Melbourne-born dating guru was known in her native country for her work on MAFS Australia but was parachuted onto the British version in 2021 in a bid to shake up the flailing franchise.
In 2021, E4 announced a shakeup to the traditional Married At First Sight UK format, revealing they would be switching to the explosive format of the show Down Under in a bid to attract a larger and younger audience.
Mel was drafted in to work alongside Celebs Go Dating guru Paul C. Brunson and sexpert Charlene Douglas for the new series, which appealed to a broader audience by scrapping the legal aspect of the marriage upon the first sight – instead just asking the couples to make a symbolic lifelong commitment to one another.
The revamp to the Australian format also saw the couples attend weekly dinner parties and take part in recurring commitment ceremonies, where they will choose whether they want to stay in or leave the process.
While Mel was one of three experts on MAFS Australia – alongside John Aiken and Alessandra Rampolla – it was her who was picked to take on the UK version, having been a hit with viewers when MAFS Aus was aired in Britain during lockdown.
She said of her appointment at the time: ‘Being a part of the Australian experiment for seven seasons has taught me so much about love, marriage, relationships (and conflict) and I can’t wait to share my advice and insight with you all.
‘I have been overwhelmed by the UK response to the Australian version on E4 and have been humbled by all the beautiful messages of support from the UK fans of the show.
‘I am really looking forward to joining forces with Paul C. Brunson (as I’m a huge fan of Celebs Go Dating!) and together I know we are set to shake up the UK conversation about matters of the heart – I just hope I can decipher all those different accents!’
It was no surprise that Mel was a hit with viewers, having dedicated her life to helping others find love as a qualified behavioural specialist and dating coach.
Mel had a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Psychology as well as a Graduate Diploma in Psychology, working as a practising psychologist for two decades before being chosen for MAFS.
But while her professional life on TV was centred around helping others to find love, she experienced her own fair share of dating woes before finding her happily ever after with her ‘soulmate’ Gareth Brisbane.
She spent her 30s navigating the pitfalls of dating and previously said at that time she ‘made lots of mistakes so my clients don’t have to’.
Mel spoke to Metro in 2023 of that time, saying: ‘As a single woman, I had built up some walls of self-protection.
‘You know the ones; the barriers that you believe keep you safe from the outside world. From playing hard to get, being quite harsh when people show you attention, cutting them off before they hurt you or playing the role of the unavailable, unattainable, unreachable enigma.
‘I was casually dating, but only half-heartedly. I dated the Man Child, the Commitmentphobe, the Class Clown – the dating archetypes we’ve all encountered.
‘I told myself that I wasn’t interested in a relationship and everything about my manner represented this.’
She went on to explain that after some self-reflection she realised she needed to change her approach and became more herself when dating.
Mel then began to ‘attract a different calibre of man’ – eventually meeting Gareth who she says made her feel like ‘everything just clicked’.
She described him as her ‘equal’ and someone she could be ‘vulnerable’ with when they met.
After meeting later in life, the pair held a ‘commitment ceremony’ in Bali when she was 40, officially marrying two years later and becoming parents to daughter Maddie when Mel turned to IVF following a devastating miscarriage.
She previously said: ‘I was single for my entire thirties. I wasn’t interested in anyone. I was busy travelling the world, working overseas, I was all about building my business and just living a great life.
‘And so we were both nearly 40 when we met, and he just turned my world upside down. I was not expecting that! We met on [dating website] eHarmony. He’s from Whitehead in Northern Ireland, but he was living in Adelaide, and I was in Melbourne.’
She added to OK! magazine: ‘We did long distance for six weeks, which was really pivotal in the success of our relationship, because we didn’t physically meet for those six weeks, but we were communicating every day.’
She added that once they met, things moved very quickly and they soon decided they wanted to have children.
Mel then sadly had a miscarriage at 12 weeks of pregnancy which she has previously described as a ‘very tough experience’.
They then had Maddie via IVF, with Mel describing parenthood as an ‘adventure’. The family then lived in Melbourne and Bali before moving to the UK.
Maddie was present when the couple held their official wedding ceremony in Melbourne, in December 2020.
Mel said she was overcome with emotion on the day, and shed tears of happiness.
‘It’s just the meaning of it all. I was a late bloomer in life, like, I didn’t meet my husband [Gareth, 48] until I was nearly 40 and then we had our daughter Madison, 6, when I was nearly 42, so to be finally saying our “I dos” was an emotional time. It was very special,’ she said.
‘Our commitment ceremony in Bali felt more like a wedding and our actual wedding felt more like a commitment ceremony, but that’s OK. We decided to make things official because Gareth and I were so keen to finish 2020 off on a positive note.
The wedding was capped at six people in total, with the family of three joined by two witnesses and a celebrant.
Gareth was by Mel’s side when she died on Tuesday just days after revealing her cancer had spread to her brain.
The dating expert was first diagnosed with colon cancer in 2023.
Gareth announced the news on Instagram, revealing Mel used ‘all of her remaining strength’ to whisper a last message for her daughter on her deathbed.
He wrote: ‘Melanie Jane Brisbane-Schilling passed away peacefully today, surrounded by love.
‘In her final moments, when I thought cancer had taken away her ability to speak, she ushered me closer and whispered a message for Maddie and me that will sustain me for the rest of my life.
‘It took all of her remaining strength, and that gesture summed up our wee Melsie perfectly. Even then, her only thought was for Maddie and me. This is a woman who became a new mum and a TV star at 42 – and nailed both.’
‘This is a woman who, through two years of chemotherapy, when she could barely lift her head from the pillow, never complained and never stopped showing courage, grace, compassion and empathy, and never missed a day of filming.
‘To most of you, she was Mel Schilling – matriarch of MAFS and queen of reality TV. To Maddie and me, she was our wee Melsie: an incredible mum, role model, and soulmate.’
‘On behalf of our family and her incredible friendship group, thank you for the support from around the world.
‘I also want to thank our wonderful MAFS family – John, Alessandra, Charlene, Roxy, and Sophie – for your kindness and compassion.
‘To Lee, Louie, Susy, and Ian at Channel 4 / CPL, who went above and beyond for us, we will never forget it. To Sarah at InterTalent, not just an agent, but a true confidante.
‘And to the wonderful Elizabeth Day – Mel’s podcasting partner and dear friend – thank you for your friendship and empathy.
‘Life can be beautiful, and life can be incredibly cruel. But ultimately, life is fleeting, fragile, and tomorrow is promised to no one. If you can do anything to honour Mel, please live life to the full, love your people well, and try not to sweat the small stuff.
‘I had 15 wonderful years with my soulmate, and it was the privilege of my life to be by her side. For that, I will be forever thankful.
‘Goodbye, my love. My one. Until we meet again.’
Mel first revealed that she had been diagnosed with colon cancer in December 2023, and she had to have surgery to remove a 5cm tumour.
In a lengthy Instagram post last week, she revealed that she found out her cancer had metastasised to her lungs in 2024, and over Christmas it was discovered it had spread to her brain.
Mel wrote: ‘I honestly don’t know how long I have left, but I do know I will fight to my last breath and will be surrounded by the love and support of my people.’
She explained that she has undergone 16 rounds of chemotherapy during the past two years while also filming MAFS.
She was due to start a new clinical trial this March, however over Christmas she began experiencing blinding headaches and numbness down her right side.
After tests it was discovered the cancer has spread to her brain and there is nothing further doctors can do. She wrote: ‘My light is starting to fade – and quickly.’
Sharing a photo with her husband Gareth and daughter Madison, 10, Mel’s full statement read: ‘In December 2023 I was diagnosed with colon cancer after a tumour the size of a lemon was discovered during a scan. ‘Terry,’ as I called him, was successfully removed and I was initially given the all clear — that much many of you already know.
‘Unfortunately, in late February 2024 during a routine scan, small nodules were discovered in my lungs. The cancer had metastasised and my world changed again in an instant.
‘Over the past two years, while filming MAFS, I underwent 16 rounds of chemotherapy and was later told I was eligible for a groundbreaking clinical trial specific to my gene type, due to start in March 2026. Once again, my optimism soared that I might beat this thing.
‘Over Christmas, however, I began experiencing blinding headaches and numbness down my right side.
‘After many tests I was told the cancer had spread to the left side of my brain and, despite subsequent radiotherapy sessions, my oncology team have now told me there is nothing further they can do. Hearing those words changes everything.
‘So that’s where I am now. My light is starting to fade — and quickly. But I am still here, still fighting, and surrounded by the most incredible love.
‘Simple tasks have become incredibly difficult and I am relying on my beautiful family to look after me. I honestly don’t know how long I have left, but I do know I will fight to my last breath and will be surrounded by the love and support of my people.
‘At the outset of this journey, so many of you sent the most wonderful messages of support. They have meant more than I can ever properly express and have helped shape the mindset I’ve needed to keep fighting. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
‘If I could leave you with one thing, it would simply be this: if something doesn’t feel right, please get it checked out. It might just save your life.
‘These two beside me are my everything. With love and gratitude, Mel’.
Amid her cancer battle, Mel – who divided her time between London and Sydney while filming MAFS – stepped away from the franchise to focus on her health.
Australian expert John Aiken stepped in to replace her for the remainder of the latest UK series, as filming was underway.
After working alongside Mel for a decade, John was quick to lead the tributes to her with a heartbreaking message about his ‘partner in crime’.
Alongside photos of one of their first TV appearances together and one of their last, John wrote: ‘Where it began and where it ended.
‘It’s with great sadness and heavy heart that today I lost my dear friend and fellow MAFS expert Mel Schilling. I am heartbroken, devastated and finding it hard to breathe.
‘She came into my life 10 years ago and together we rode this juggernaut, being there for one another through it all. Nothing could prepare us for what lay ahead, but she was always in the fox hole with me.
‘It was a privilege and an honor to sit beside her on the MAFS couch and watch her shine. She was warm, supportive and honest, and she deeply cared about all our participants. I had a front row seat to her remarkable skills and she truly believed in the experiment. At her core she loved love ??
‘And behind the scenes we had so much fun. Before going on set we would sing, dance, face time her daughter and eat lollies. Every time I came to set she would squeal, jump out of her chair and run and embrace me – squeezing me tight.
‘And through all of these years she was an amazing mother and wife. She was loving, committed, loyal, fun and so very very kind. And she always had as her driving force her family. She was a role model for all to see.
‘And when her illness struck she never complained. She kept her challenges to herself and continued to deliver time and time again. She was an inspiration, a fighter, a leader.
‘It’s not fair that my partner in crime is gone. She was one of the good ones. I am unravelling just thinking about it. I wanted to sit on our couch together forever. She knew my rhythms and I knew hers. But it’s simply not to be.
‘Dearest Mel – I want to thank you for everything you have given me over the past decade. I am distraught. Sadly and devastatingly I have to accept that you are now gone.
‘The MAFS universe weeps, as does all your dearest family and friends. Particularly, all my love and prayers go to Gareth and Maddie – we have all been blessed to have known her. I love you and I miss you gorgeous. xx.’
COLON CANCER: WHAT ARE THE WARNING SIGNS?
Bowel, or colorectal, cancer affects the large bowel, which is made up of the colon and rectum.
Such tumors usually develop from pre-cancerous growths, called polyps.
Symptoms include:
Bleeding from the bottomBlood in stoolsA change in bowel habits lasting at least three weeksUnexplained weight lossExtreme, unexplained tirednessAbdominal pain
Most cases have no clear cause, however, people are more at risk if they:
Are over 50Have a family history of the conditionHave a personal history of polyps in their bowelSuffer from inflammatory bowel disease, such as Crohn’s diseaseLead an unhealthy lifestyle
Treatment usually involves surgery, and chemo- and radiotherapy.
More than nine out of ten people with stage 1 bowel cancer survive five years or more after their diagnosis.
Unfortunately, only around a third of all colorectal cancers are diagnosed at this early stage.
The majority of people come to the doctor when the disease has spread beyond the wall of the colon or rectum or to distant parts of the body, which decreasing the chance of being successfully cured of colon cancer.
According to Bowel Cancer UK figures, more than 41,200 people are diagnosed with bowel cancer every year in the UK.
It affects around 40 per 100,000 adults each year in the US, according to the National Cancer Institute.
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